It will make sense someday


I've been thinking a lot lately.

The past couple of months have been pretty trying for me. I wasn't in the best place, emotionally. It hadn't been easy, but I've always believed that things happened for a reason. When bad things happen to me, the first thing I'd focus on is to heal.

I've always been the kind of person who wears my heart on my sleeve, so it gets really hard to pretend like I'm okay when I'm actually not. It's one thing to understand that things happen to us because it's meant to happen that way, but you can't always discipline your heart and tell it to feel what it's supposed to feel. What I meant is, if you're hurt, then you're hurt. You can't switch it off as and when you like, the pain will always be there. It gets better, eventually. But these things take time.

Over the past couple of months, I've been trying to heal from a broken friendship.

This was a person whom I once thought would be in my life, forever. Someone I thought that I would grow old with. Someone who has always been one of the first few that comes to mind when I picture the people who would still be by my side in 30-40 years to come. I've realised now how fragile some things can be, even years and years of friendship cannot save us from the inevitable.

What you thought would never happen, will happen if it's supposed to happen. What you thought you'd never lose, will be that very thing that will be gone when you fail to nurture it enough. Ultimately, we learn.

I suppose one day all these will make sense. All I know is that what's meant to happen will happen no matter how we choose to ignore or avoid it, in time, the universe has its way to present the unavoidable- so I resigned to fate, knowing that this is probably for the very best.

The biggest lesson that I've learned after going through something like this is that the duration of a friendship doesn't necessarily define the depth of it. It has really got me thinking about what friendship truly means to me. It made me think about what kind of a friend I am, and if I had been that person my friends can rely on in times of need or have I been lacking in some ways. I realised that while some friendships need constant validation, there are also the kind of friends who would always be there for you no matter how long it's been simply because their feelings towards you are genuine and pure.

There's nothing better in this world than knowing you are loved for the all the right reasons. If someone finds it hard to stay in your life, then let them leave. Perhaps my heart has gotten a little cold, but honestly, I'm at a point in my life where I want as little drama as possible in my life and I just want to live my days as happily as I can. This serves as a lesson for me, got me thinking about what I can do to improve my relationship with the people around me. I have to work towards being a better person, a better friend, in hopes that I will never have to go through something like this again.

My goal in life is to be happy. I'm still trying to figure that out. But one thing's for sure though, you can never know true happiness without experiencing pain.

And for that I'm grateful.

Love,



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