I have 45 minutes before I need to get ready for an appointment, and I thought "Hmm, perhaps it's a good time to writeβ. Perhaps it's the two cups of oat milk iced coffee I had this morning, or perhaps it's just an influx of energy I had after sleeping for a total of 12 hours after coming home from an overnight turn. Either way, I'm thankful for the way I feel today.
It's also been three hours since I've started queuing up for Coldplay tickets online. I'm almost there, and I just know it will be worth the wait. You know, I've never really been the type to wait in line for tickets but I really want to go for this one.
As I get older, I realised that it's important to make time for those little moments in life that makes you feel alive. Life can get a little mundane sometimes, especially when you're so used to following a routine. I'm thankful that my job isn't as structured, but even following a rigid roster month after month feels a lot like a routine, day in day out. And during my off days, I usually catch up on sleep unless I have errands to run. It has become something I really look forward to. Then it's back to the get-go.
So it's little moments like going to a concert, having a short getaway with my love, and just basically taking a break from life- thatβs what I usually look forward to. These little moments. They're what makes all the difference.
I realised that I don't need a lot of these little moments. I don't even use social media as much as I used to. The constant need to show others what's going on in my life, has gone. Part of the reason why I stayed away is because I get really afraid of people knowing what I'm up to. Somehow that gives me a kind of anxiety that I can't explain. So I tend to post throwbacks, months after or not at all. It makes me feel safer.
Sometimes it's better to take the back seat and observe instead. I do learn a lot from just watching, to be honest. It's my turn to be inspired by all of you. I find human behaviour so interesting, and I love the kind of people who are so giving and selfless with their sharing of knowledge. And I find that it's useful when I tune out things that makes me feel a negative way, so I mute them away. It helps, I realise, to have control over what makes you feel good and is safe for your mental health.
Living life quietly has been good for me. I don't feel like I'm a product of peer pressure anymore, instead I do things at my own pace, at my own time, and the way I like it. It's no longer about pleasing others anymore, it's all about making sure that I am happy with what I put out and share with the world. No matter how much or how little.
Take control of your time, your energy. After all, the only person you have to truly please is yourself. Do things at your own speed, your own pace, at your own terms and what feels true to you.
That's all that matters.
Love,
Ashhy
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