A breath of fresh air

Hello 2023. 

I've been living life a little more quietly recently, and I find myself to be in a place where my heart truly feels safe and at peace. A little mundane sometimes, but it brings me closer to myself because I'm learning to pay attention to what my heart truly wants and what makes me happy. 

I don't know how else to describe it, but this new year has been a breath of fresh air. I don't know if new beginnings just have this kind of effect, but there's a certain kind of positivity in the air that I can't quite put my finger on it. But I like it. I like the feeling of turning to a fresh new page of a brand new book. 

There are so many things that I'm grateful for in 2022. I wouldn't say it has been the best year for me, but it was the year that I had to readjust to a life that's been so familiar to me, yet so different after the pandemic. It was the year that I made a number of tough decisions and followed my heart, and the year that I put my mental health at first place, above everything else. 

2022 felt like real life to me. Full of good moments, amidst all the pain and heartaches. There had been moments where I feel like I've been put to a test a lot, but it was in those moments where I keep telling myself that this is the part where you have to hang on to yourself the most, and never lose sight of that. Let things go, and if it comes back to you, you know that they're meant to stay. 

I will always be true to my emotions, no matter how conflicted I am. This was the year I've learned a lot about patience. Patience with others, and patience with yourself. 

It was also the year where I've learned that the person I needed to take care of the most is myself, because the only one who truly knows what you've been through, and the one who has to feel everything that you feel, is you. You can have the best support system, the best lover, the best family and friends, and you feel supported all in all, but if your relationship with yourself is lacking in some ways, you will never feel whole. 

There's this term that I've learned in a psychological book that I've read a while ago, and it's called our 'Inner Child'. Everyone of us has that Inner Child in us, which is the representation of all the trauma, abandonment issues that we might have in our past. Our Inner Child tends to act upon our innermost desires, and would get emotionally hurt if his/her needs aren't met. This is why it's especially important for us to learn how to manage our Inner Child by activating that rational, adult side of us so that our Inner Child do not take over control of our emotions that it's difficult for us to move forward with life. 

When our Inner Child has been hurt, it gets difficult for us to appease them. But it's also our responsibility to always ensure that your Inner Child is okay, and for that to happen, you have to learn how to take good care of yourself, in all ways possible, and ensure that the 'Adult Us' is mentally and physically healthy enough, always. The relationship that we have with our Inner Child is crucial, because the better you learn to take care of your Inner Child, the better you get at ensuring that you're okay, in all areas of life. This is the kind of inner work that cannot be done by others, because this is an area that only you yourself can tap into. The hardest part of the work has to be done by you, and no one else. Our relationship with our Inner Child is the one that we should keep trying to work on and cultivate, to keep the connection healthy and strong. That's how you heal yourself.

Healing is a slow and lonely process, but I'm very grateful that every day, I feel stronger and better. Every day, I learn a little bit more about myself and most importantly, I learn to listen to what my heart and body wants. Days I feel like I need to rest, I would rest. Days I feel like I need to get myself out there and get some fresh air, I would. Days I feel like connecting with my friends, I would reach out and socialise to catch up. Days I feel like I want to be by myself, I'd honour that. 

And to the person who has been making me the happiest every day, I'm so thankful for you for being there for me through it all. 

May this year be an amazing one for us all. I pray that it will be filled with nothing but good vibes, lots of happiness and love. I pray that we will all be in good health and that our mental health will be prioritised and well taken care of. I pray that it will be a year full of good highs that lasts a lifetime. I pray that we will find peace in our souls, and contentment in our hearts. I pray that we will all be okay.

Happy blessed 2023, everyone. Let's continue to be kind to one another, always, in all ways.

Love, 

Ashhy