Here I am, laying on my bed with a box of tissue by my side just wishing that I'd magically wake up all healthy again tomorrow morning. Being sick feels so foreign to me, I don't really know how to handle it. I can't remember the last time I fell this ill.
So the doctor gave me a couple days off from work and I have a little more time in my hands than usual, so I thought maybe I should update this space of mine that has been neglected for a while now. I can feel my writing getting all rusty because I haven't done it in a while too.
I also haven't been updating much on social media because nothing particularly exciting has been happening in my life. My long flights have been London for two months consecutively, which was when I finally managed to go to the Lavender field that's only open during summer. London is typically gloomy whenever I come to visit and it's always so cold, so it was a nice change to experience London in summer- so beautiful.
I've been so caught up with some of the upcoming events in my life that I feel that I should start to really prepare for. Even though Luke and I still have quite a substantial amount of time left before the wedding, I felt the need to start the preparation right now. I gave myself till the end of the year to confirm all the vendors and companies. Luke and I have been sending lots of emails these couple days, doing lots of research and reading reviews. I'm just so glad to have him by my side through all of these. Some men don't particularly enjoy wedding planning so the ladies take charge, but I'm glad that Luke's been more of a partner in crime than a "I'll be happy with whatever you choose" kinda guy so I'm thankful for that. This whole prep thing has also changed me into a completely person- even Luke was surprised at how unusually detailed I've been by organising a master list of all the things we need to do and decide on, and also the breakdown of our budget.
The reason why I wanted to get everything settled by the end of this year was because I believe there will always be room for the unexpected that might affect the original plan so giving ourselves a good amount of time will give us more allowance to come up with a back-up plan to counter whatever adversity we might face. I feel that it's always good to expect the worst first so we'd be more prepared.
Our house will also be ready by late 2019 so getting the wedding prep stuff out of the way would give us more head space to think about the costs of renovation and hiring an interior designer. I've been pinning a lot of ideas on Pinterest for our future home and that always gets me going. The budget is everybody's biggest headache when it comes to planning so I'm just praying that God will see us through this and help ease our burden in whatever way possible and I just have to make an effort to be more discipline in saving up for our future.
These couple of things have been giving me a lot of anxiety lately, even though I low-key enjoy the planning phase. Some people might think we're crazy for having two of the most life-changing events happening in the same year, and so close to each other but I feel that everything happens for a reason, and this serves as a challenge of patience for both Luke and I. Please keep me in your prayers, because I can already see myself having a mental breakdown halfway through all of that.
Nonetheless, I can't help but feel excited for what's to come. I'm so thankful that Luke is with me through of all this and always assuring me that we're going to be okay. Sometimes I think it's crazy what we're doing at our age, and how we're going to do all of these independently, without the financial help of our parents. Luke would always remind me of how blessed we are to have the jobs that we have, all these blessings God has bestowed upon us knowing that we're going to do all these by ourselves. It's not easy, I can't say it's a breeze but we have each other, and we have the same end goal in mind.
Pardon me if my future updates are going to be as lengthy and boring as this one today. Writing gives me a sense of peace, and takes a lot of the pressure away. And writing also helps to clear my head and help me think better. It's so surreal to me how everything that I've always imagined in my head is going to be a reality soon. Getting married, having my own house, getting to spend the rest of my life with my favourite human- it's crazy. I still have to pinch myself to believe that it's actually happening and that we're going to be moving on to the next phase of our lives.
Please pray for us, dear friends. May life be kind to us at this crucial stage that we're in and may our journey be nothing but a smooth-sailing one.
Love,
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